Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
that is very illegal...i love you.
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