He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
