On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
