Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
