Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize