so that wasnt chicken after all
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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