this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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