Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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