He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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