so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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