So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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