I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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