But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
