you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
