Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
be right there i have to get my cape
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
