If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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