I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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