She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
