Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
