My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
