Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
