I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize