Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
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We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
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Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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