brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
