they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize