I need help removing her.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
