You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
