all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
