i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize