It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
