I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
