This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
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the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
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How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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