That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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