Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
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Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
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I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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