she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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