After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize