My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
