you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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