We're facebook friends in real life
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
