You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
