ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I had to cum in my sink.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
