I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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