The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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