Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
