I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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