found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
