Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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