There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize