You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
