I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
