I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize