You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
