...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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