It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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