so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
