He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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