Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
