If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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