Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
