you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
